Tag Archives: sports

The Detroit Lions are improving, and Perry Mason can prove it

Detroit LionsIn 2008, I graduated from law school, moved 640 miles from home, passed a bar exam and began my legal career. You know what I remember most vividly about 2008? The Detroit Lions attained a perfect 0-16 record. On September 25, 2008, as the Lions continued to skid, something happened that gave the Honolulu Blue masses hope: William Clay Ford announced that he had relieved Matt Millen of his duties as President and CEO, “effective immediately.” We all knew without a doubt that our troubles were over.

One MM was replaced with another. With Martin Mayhew calling the shots instead of Matt Millen, Rod Marinelli was fired as head coach and replaced with Jim Schwartz, a defensive coaching dynamo from Tennessee. In the 2009 draft, the Lions took franchise quarterback Matthew Stafford, a solid tight end in Brandon Pettigrew, a stud safety in Louis Delmas, an outside line backer with some serious upside in DeAndre Levy, and a wide receiver to take some attention away from Calvin Johnson in Derrick Williams. And that was just the first three rounds. Oh yes, we were on the move. And then the season happened, and we went 2-14, winning two games in less than convincing fashion.

But Ford stayed the course. Mayhew and Schwartz stayed on, and Lions fans looked forward to yet another off season. Wow, what an offseason it was. In the draft the Lions took the freak defensive tackle that is Ndamukong Suh, whose name literally means House of Spears. They followed up that pick with speedster running back Jahvid Best and high-upside corner back (now safety) Amari Spievey. The Lions then brought in free-agent wide receiver Nate Burleson, defensive end Kyle Vanden Bosch and defensive tackle Corey Williams, all excellent additions. With a defensive front four now including Vanden Bosch, Corey Williams, Ndamukong Suh(nami) and speed rusher Cliff Avril, opposing quarterbacks were already shivering at the thought of playing the second coming of the Silver Rush.

Fast forward to today, December 13, 2010. The Detroit Lions are 3-10 (or 4-9 if you count the Week 1 debacle in which the guys in stripes decided to give the Chicago Carebears a win). At that pace, we finish the season 4-12. Not exactly the improvement we were hoping for. Naturally, rumblings that Coach Schwartz should be fired and that these are the Same Old Lions are starting. Given that some of my favorite childhood memories are listening to my uncles complain about this team, I’m more than preconditioned to jump on the negativity bandwagon. But I decided first to look at the stats to really see whether any improvement had occurred. I was amazed at what I saw:
The Lions are improving
In summary, from 2008 to 2010, the Lions have drastically improved their First Down Ratio, 3rd Down Conversion Ratio, Total Yards, Rushing Yards, and Passing Yards Ratios, Completion Percentage Ratio, Sacks Ratio and Turnover Ratio. In other words, the 2010 Lions handily beat the 2008 Lions in every single stat category necessary to winning. The Detroit Lions are improving, and I can prove it.

DD10: We have a winner

So, my cousin signed up for Double Dribble 2010, the Butterscotch Sundae NCAA bracket thingy. She never made her picks, though — or if she did, she forgot to hit “submit” — so I hit the “autopick” button and the computer magically chose them for her. (Based on some formula that I can’t remember.) And guess what? The computer Taylor won! She’s currently off Spring Breakin’ it in NYC, but when she gets home she’ll find a glorious prizewaiting for her.*

Here are the final standings:
1. Taylor
2. Genia, a Butler alum. I’m pretty sure their loss in the championship game was more devastating than coming in second here.
3. Don
4. Chloe
5. Amy
6. Rockford
7. Mark
8. Chris
9. Nichole
10. Perry Mason
11. Carrie

*If, that is, I ship it before she gets home.

He immediately rejected ‘The Nice Marmots’

Have I ever told you about my sister-in-law’s bowling skillz? Well let me tell you: She has ’em. She bowled for Michigan State’s bowling team. I believe she’s bowled very, very close to a 300. Her dad has ten 300s and is Bowling Ballin their local bowling hall of fame. Her family gave my brother a bowling ball and bowling shoes for Christmas one of the first years he and Carrie were together.

So it’s not terribly surprising that my brother and sister-in-law are in a bowling league. What is surprising is that they don’t already have a totally awesome name for their team. A quick Googling tells us that the world of bowling team names is rife with puns. Which means, of course, that I was thrilled when my brother asked me to help him come up with a new team name and a T-shirt design for his bowling team.

Sadly, he didn’t know what I was talking about when I suggested “The Nice Marmots,” and there are already a few great T-shirts with the “Little Lebowski Urban Achievers” theme. But here’s what I came up with:

Bowling shirts

A. The Bowlers.
Simple, elegant and would require the wearing of a hat to every match.

B. Catan: Anchors and Crankers.
These kids loved “Settlers of Catan.” The game has a bunch of “Catan: This and That” variations, so I looked up some bowling terms and added them. So that’s what that’s all about.

C. Strike-o-saurus! This one makes me laugh. It’s currently my desktop.

My brother can’t decide which one he likes best, so I’m bringing it to you, Internet. Please find the poll over in the sidebar and vote!