You know those people who say if you’re afraid of gorillas you should go to the zoo and jump in the gorilla pit?* Well, I’m working on something like that this weekend. Three times over, in fact.

Acrophobia: Getting high on fright since 1978!

I can’t climb the ladder to the attic. Open staircases give me the willies. Glass elevators aren’t my cup of tea, but at least I can keep my eyes fixed on the inside wall. In other words, I’m afraid of heights. So yesterday I took the rooftop tour of the Biltmore House, which might not be the tallest building in the world but by golly it’s tall enough. The view was beautiful, and I found that I was fine as long as kept my sights on the far vistas and didn’t move around too much. Going back inside, however, was a relief.

I wouldn’t call my fear of heights cured — although I’m not currently standing on a tall structure, so who knows? — but I managed not to crawl back to the stairway. So that’s good.

Ophidiophobia: Snakes! They’re menacing!

You know what would be worse than hanging out on a rooftop? Hanging out on a rooftop with a snake. Or running into a snake on the ground just minutes before going up to the roof, which is what I did. It was a tiny snake, and it was probably just drawn to Biltmore’s front door by the opulence, just like the rest of us, but still. It Was a Snake. I didn’t scream or jump up on the nearest jump-upable thing (which was a person, so that was Sound Judgement on my part), so I’m calling it a win on the Nichole v. Snakes front.

Agoraphobia: But home is so cozy, and I know everyone there!
This one probably doesn’t technically qualify as a phobia, but I’ve become increasingly uncomfortable around people over the last several years. I’ve always tended toward hermitude, and I think being a stay-at-home mom has definitely not helped matters. So I’m battling my social anxiety this weekend by going to a blogging conference. Yesterday, I felt like I could very easily vomit at any time. This morning wasn’t nearly as nervy. And I am pleased to report that I even talked to people. For example:

Kym says she can help me learn to quilt. I say she is optimistic.

Mara also writes for a very neat travel advice site.

Amy has fantastic glasses and will most definitely make herself a media kit before I make one for myself. She seems very on top of things.

Bonnie’s son sounds like the world’s best 14-year-old.

Michele wears the same size shoe as I do and has a very cute haircut. Also, I may have accidentally locked her in my car. Thanks, child-safety locks!

I’ve read Casey’s blog for years and years. She is just as adorable in real life as she is on the internet.

Molly has delightfully curly hair and a ferocious love of Red Vines.

Marie is my newest style icon.

Cintia has an adorable teeny-tiny baby and a lovely voice.

Fadra’s fervor for Twizzlers equals Molly’s Red Vines passion. And she got me started on the Twitter again. Twitter? You ought to be paying that lady. She’s a dynamo.

My plans for tomorrow include going to a few sessions and talking to more people (and perhaps picking up more Little Debbies). But pleaseohplease no snakes or heights.

*ButterscotchSundae.com does not recommend jumping into a gorilla pit, fear of gorillas or not. Also, ButterscotchSundae.com is pretty sure there isn’t really a gorillaphobia-centric idiom.