Last night I dreamed that I was hanging out in the pro shop at a golf course, and a distraught young man rushed up to me, desperate for help. He needed me to translate a phrase into French for him, so he could have it engraved on a bracelet for his one true love.

Now, I took French for a few years in high school and college. I can still read a little bit of French, and I could probably ask for food, water and a bathroom should I ever find myself stranded in France. I didn’t have any exemplary language skills in my dream, either. But I did successfully translated the lovestruck young man’s declaration. I typed my French translation into the Altavista translator this morning, just to see whether I really had spelled out what the man wanted to say.

And indeed, “Je t’aime comme mon pied gauche” does mean “I love you like my left foot.”