Tag Archives: daring bakers

In which my baking offends the Queen of England

“Happy Jubilee, Your Majesty! I’m so honored you could come by for lunch. How was your sandwich?”

“It was divine, thank you. Peanut butter has always been a favorite of mine.”

“I’m so glad! My daughter loves it. Could I interest you in a slice of Battenberg cake? I made it just for you.”

“How thoughtful! The royal chefs invented it to celebrate Philip’s grandmother’s marriage, you know. He’ll be pleased to know the Americans are enjoying it these days. Oh dear. And what is this?”

“It’s Battenberg cake! I couldn’t find marzipan, though, so I made a marshmallow fondant.”

“Marshmallow, you say? How … clever of you.”

“How is it?”

“Did Harry put you up to this?”

“Pardon?”

“This is an atrocity.”

“Well I suppose it does look like I wrapped it generously in Quilted Northern, but …”

“That does not begin to describe the horror. Your squares are rectangles, the cake looks nothing like a cohesive unit, and it is as heavy as the Imperial State Crown and only half as edible.”

“I’m sorry it isn’t up to your standards, ma’am, but I gave it a good try.”

” ‘Your majesty’ will do quite nicely. You may ring for my car now.”

And that’s how The Daring Bakers ruined my luncheon with the queen. In my head. The queen was actually rather busy this month with the Diamond Jubilee, which I’m certain is the reason she hasn’t responded to my lunch invitation.

This month’s Daring Bakers challenge was the Battenberg Cake, which as HRH informed me was invented to celebrate the marriage of Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine to Prince Louis of Battenberg. It’s a small cake that’s supposed to be pink-and-white checkered to reflect the Battenburg markings. I didn’t have much luck at it.

The Daring Bakers require me to tell you this:

“Mandy of What The Fruitcake?! came to our rescue last minute to present us with the Battenberg Cake challenge! She highlighted Mary Berry’s techniques and recipes to allow us to create this unique little cake with ease.”

All of which is true except the “with ease” part. Although I guess it was pretty easy. It just wasn’t terribly successful. I’m unlikely to try it again, but here’s a Battenberg cake recipe, should you wish to try your hand at it. It’s a very pretty little cake when made correctly!

A downer of a baking story, such as it is.

The Daring BakersThe July Daring Bakers’ challenge was hosted by Nicole at Sweet Tooth. She chose Chocolate Covered Marshmallow Cookies and Milan Cookies from pastry chef Gale Gand of the Food Network.

I wanted to share a nice, long post all about the Milan Cookies (Milanos! Yum!) that my friend Amy and I made for the Daring Bakers this month. But AT&T is so pathetically unreliable that I have no Internet access at home, so I’m typing this at the library. And there are three kids next to me (not mine) arguing about what video they’re going to rent, and it’s just not working.

So I’ll tell you this: The cookies were delicious even though they were a bit underbaked and cakey rather than crunchy and oh, good night kids just agree on a dad-gum DVD and git.

Bakewell? Not hardly.

The June Daring Bakers’ challenge was hosted by Jasmine of Confessions of a Cardamom Addict and Annemarie of Ambrosia and Nectar. They chose a Traditional (UK) Bakewell Tart… er… pudding that was inspired by a rich baking history dating back to the 1800’s in England.

This month’s Daring Bakers’ Challenge was something I’d never even heard of before, much less baked: the Bakewell Tart. Or pudding. Apparently there’s some disagreement over exactly what it’s called. Wherever your Bakewell allegiances lie, though, I’m pretty sure you’d agree that mine was a complete and utter failure.

It looked lovely when I first pulled it out of the oven — all browned and tart-like. I let it cool a bit, and then I sliced into it. And the interior was a soupy, buttery mess. (From what I gather, the Bakewell tart/pudding is supposed to be somewhat cakey.) Maybe I misread the recipe and used too much butter. I don’t know. But I was already feeling pretty cranky today (because the computer died again today — several times — and now it won’t come on at all), and BakeFailPuddin’Tart? You did not help.

Here, however, is the recipe if you’d like to give it a go:

Bakewell Tart…er…pudding
One quantity sweet shortcrust pastry (recipe follows)
Bench flour
250ml (1cup (8 US fl. oz)) jam or curd, warmed for spreadability
One quantity frangipane (recipe follows)
One handful blanched, flaked almonds

Place the chilled dough disc on a lightly floured surface. If it’s overly cold, you will need to let it become acclimatised for about 15 minutes before you roll it out. Flour the rolling pin and roll the pastry to 5mm (1/4”) thickness, by rolling in one direction only (start from the centre and roll away from you), and turning the disc a quarter turn after each roll. When the pastry is to the desired size and thickness, transfer it to the tart pan, press in and trim the excess dough. Patch any holes, fissures or tears with trimmed bits. Chill in the freezer for 15 minutes.

Preheat oven to 200C/400F.

Remove shell from freezer, spread as even a layer as you can of jam onto the pastry base. Top with frangipane, spreading to cover the entire surface of the tart. Smooth the top and pop into the oven for 30 minutes. Five minutes before the tart is done, the top will be poofy and brownish. Remove from oven and strew flaked almonds on top and return to the heat for the last five minutes of baking.

The finished tart will have a golden crust and the frangipane will be tanned, poofy and a bit spongy-looking. Remove from the oven and cool on the counter. Serve warm, with crème fraîche, whipped cream or custard sauce if you wish.

When you slice into the tart, the almond paste will be firm, but slightly squidgy and the crust should be crisp but not tough.

Sweet shortcrust pastry
225g (8oz) all purpose flour
30g (1oz) sugar
2.5ml (½ tsp) salt
110g (4oz) unsalted butter, cold (frozen is better)
2 (2) egg yolks
2.5ml (½ tsp) almond extract (optional)
15-30ml (1-2 Tbsp) cold water

Sift together flour, sugar and salt. Grate butter into the flour mixture, using the large hole-side of a box grater. Using your finger tips only, and working very quickly, rub the fat into the flour until the mixture resembles bread crumbs. Set aside.

Lightly beat the egg yolks with the almond extract (if using) and quickly mix into the flour mixture. Keep mixing while dribbling in the water, only adding enough to form a cohesive and slightly sticky dough.

Form the dough into a disc, wrap in cling and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes

Frangipane
125g (4.5oz) unsalted butter, softened
125g (4.5oz) icing sugar
3 (3) eggs
2.5ml (½ tsp) almond extract
125g (4.5oz) ground almonds
30g (1oz) all purpose flour

Cream butter and sugar together for about a minute or until the mixture is primrose in colour and very fluffy. Scrape down the side of the bowl and add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. The batter may appear to curdle. In the words of Douglas Adams: Don’t panic. Really. It’ll be fine. After all three are in, pour in the almond extract and mix for about another 30 seconds and scrape down the sides again. With the beaters on, spoon in the ground nuts and the flour. Mix well. The mixture will be soft, keep its slightly curdled look (mostly from the almonds) and retain its pallid yellow colour.