Andrew Lloyd Webber night? Oh, this should be good. Someone has to do “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina.” I’m guessing it’ll be Carly.

I think I saw Duchovny in the audience. I’m wary but excited about the new “X-Files” movie.

Oh wait. What was I talking about. Oh, yeah. “Idol.”

Syesha’s doing “One Rock ‘n’ Roll Too Many.” Which I’ve never heard. But it works for the suddenly sleek ‘n’ sultry Syesha. She’s animated, and she sounds good. If this doesn’t work out for her, she might have a place off Broadway.

Jason Castro is next with “Memory.” I love Andrew Lloyd Webber’s reaction to the dreadlocks — “I never imagined I’d see a man with dreadlocks singing ‘Memory.’ ” Like me, Jason Castro has never seen “Cats.” Also like me, I don’t think he’s going to be starring in a production of it anytime soon. He just doesn’t have a showtune voice. I think Andrew Lloyd Webber might be the end of our dreadlocked friend. Unless, of course, his legions of girlfriends rally to save him.

I’ll bet Brooke loves showtunes, too. I can’t tell you for certain, though, because Rockford is blowdrying Poppy’s hair and I can’t hear a thing. But Brooke and ALW are holding hands, and I think they’re in love now. Oops! Brooke stopped and restarted again. I wonder if that’ll fly this time around. Finally! Hairdrying is finished, and I can hear. She’s doing “You Must Love Me” from “Evita.” I can’t believe I couldn’t place that at first. Brooke’s obviously feeling it; she’s emoting like crazy. Despite the slip-up, she did a swell job. And I sort of love her butterfly dress.

OK. The last time Brooke did that, it was “Great work! So professional!” This time? Paula says “Never, never do that.” I think Paula just forgot what she was going to say.

Oh boy, it’s Little David Archuleta time! I’m predicting that ALW makes him swoon. ALW says Little David’s singing a song written for a diva. It’s “Think of Me,” and I’ve never heard it because I’ve never seen “Phantom of the Opera,” either. What was that I was saying about loving showtunes? I’m beginning to think that might have been a lie. Apparently I don’t even know any showtunes. And thank you, ALW, for telling Little David to open his eyes. Speaking of Little David, everyone’s going to love this, too, because he’s singing it really well. Ugh. He just brings out the cane-wielding grouchy old lady in me. Get off my lawn, Little David Archuleta.

Carly wanted to do “All I Ask of You,” but ALW made her do “Jesus Christ Superstar” instead. Good call, ALW. It’s a big song, she has a big voice, and she’s obviously having fun with it. I don’t think Carly’s going to be in the bottom three.

That leaves David Cook to do “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina.” I don’t think it’s going to happen. Instead, he’s doing “Music of the Night.” ALW doesn’t seem to think David Cook can pull it off. Again, I don’t think he’s cut out for Broadway. It wasn’t terrible, though. If the Blaine Players did “Phantom,” he’d be a shoo-in.

Now, who’s going home? I think ALW week was a crazy-cruel thing to do to a bunch of people who are trying to be pop stars. Some of them pulled it off, though. I think Syesha, Brooke and Jason will be in the bottom three. And I believe it’s time to bid Jason adieu.

Attention Justin: You can bet I’ll be telling you to “put on your lawyer pants and walk down that path” all.the.time. after you graduate. Whaddya think about that, Barrister?