Screen time

"Inland Empire"

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There’s a public-access channel in Columbia that used to run locally produced movies late at night. For the most part, these movies made no sense whatsoever. And so, while I might watch a few minutes of them, I never watched one in its entirety.

Now imagine you have four or five channels. And they’re all showing public-access movies. And you’re flipping through all of your channels, hoping against hope that something that makes sense will come on your TV screen. Instead, you’re bombarded, in 20-second bursts, with:

  • a trio of well-dressed rabbits in a Beckett-esque play.
  • a crying, naked girl sitting on the edge of a bed, clutching a blanket and watching a static-filled TV screen.
  • a disturbing exchange taking place between two blurry-headed figures in a hotel room.
  • a couple of old men screaming at each other in a foreign language.
  • a crazed-looking woman running down the street.

    Yesterday, Rockford brought home a copy of “Inland Empire” from the video store. And that frightful public-access scenario became my reality. I watched the first 15 minutes before I decided I’d had enough. It made me want to punch David Lynch in the face.

    David Lynch has officially been inducted into Club Boycott.

    Rockford was kind enough to turn the movie off, but he says he’s going to watch it tonight after I go to bed. You can expect to read his take on it soon.

    • 5 thoughts on “"Inland Empire"”

    1. I recall Alex recommending “The Crying Game” while on a trip to Boone, NC, in high school. It was the first Club Boycott inductee. “Men with Guns” followed a few years later.

    2. Alex is a nice boy, but he does watch some terrible movies. To his credit, he’s gotten a little bit better about not watching ridiculous stuff. Until the “Inland Empire” incident. I hope he isn’t regressing.

    3. *Update*
      Alex did not actually get up and watch the rest of Inland Empire but rather decided to return it to the video store and save those precious hours of his life for something more meaningful…like watching a Cubs game.

    4. You guys are hilarious. David Lynch has always creeped me out a bit. What I find most disturbing is that Mary-Kate Olsen will be kissing Ben Kingsley in an upcoming film.

    5. I used to really love David Lynch and still think that “Blue Velvet” and “Wild at Heart” are brilliant films and “Twin Peaks” is that odd creature – good TV. But he began to lose me somewhere around “Mulholland Drive” and truly got on the CDV boycott list after that Disney film he did that was two hours of a farmer on a tractor. ( I seem to remember your husband having something to do with my opinion of that movie – did he like it or something). Anyway, you lasted longer than me – so well done.

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