Years and years ago, our friend Mike told me that I should read David Foster Wallace’s “Infinite Jest.” Mike used to come over to our house to play the euphonium for our cats* while we were at work, so naturally I trusted his judgment. He loaned me his copy of “Infinite Jest,” and I tried to read it. I did. But it’s a really long, sort of weird book, and I completely did not get it. So I hung my head in shame and gave it back to him.

A few weeks ago, I saw that some people were planning a mass reading of the book. I emailed Mike and said something like, “Maybe I’ll try it again,” and he said something like, “Yes, do! I’ll do it, too. And I’ll send you my handy-dandy reader’s guide.” And so here I am, all set to tackle “Infinite Jest.” Happily for me, the official read-a-thon doesn’t start until June 21. Until then, the copy I picked up (too early, obviously; lots of renewals in my future) from the library will sit on the table and taunt me with each and every one of its 1,079 pages (footnotes included).

In preparation, I’m going to pick up a few Sweet Valley High titles to give my brain a pre-DFW workout.

(Mike: I’m definitely gonna need that reader’s guide.)

*There is a bit more to this story, but it’s more fun this way.