Category Archives: Flotsam / Jetsam

Freedom in a bag

One of my father-in-law’s favorite bits of advice is, “Prunes will set you free.” The people at Sunsweet would, I’m certain, agree with him. Click here to set yourself free, for free!

(They’re offering raisins and apricots, too, if you’re not ready to embrace the prune.)

The joys of modern-day communication

We recently returned to the world of land-line phones after a little over a year of only using cell phones. Among the Things I Had Forgotten About Land-line Phones:

  • They are not small enough to carry around in your pocket!
  • Sometimes they come with cords!
  • Sales calls!

    The phone rang a few minutes ago. I hauled myself out of the recliner (it requires an elaborate winch system these days) and waddled over to the wall to pick it up. Because our phone is attached to the wall! Oh, the inconvenience!

    Anyway, I winched, waddled and picked up the phone, and there was the tell-tale silence that generally precludes the sales pitch. And then there was a fog horn.

    Eh?

    Following the fog horn: “Hello! This is your captain speaking! You can earn a cruise to the Bahamas just by answering 10 questions!”

    And that was the dumbest sales call I’ve ever received.

    The end.

  • The rock feels no pain


    You Are Rock


    Powerful and overbearing, you intimidate people with your presence.
    People know they can’t push you around, and they respect that.
    Deep down, you are calm, confident, and unmovable.
    You take everything pretty seriously, and you think deeply about all aspects of your life.

    You tend to feel smothered by paper people.

    You don’t mind crushing the spirit of a scissors person.

    When you fight, you: Use all of your strength

    If someone makes you mad: You’re likely to throw something at them