Scene: A pair of 2-year-olds eating popcorn at the table.

Addison: This is tasty!

Pete: No it isn’t. It’s yummy!

I did write a Menu Plan Monday post for yesterday, but (appropriately enough) the internet seems to have eaten it. So here’s what we’re having this week:

In other news, I can’t think of anything nice to say about Verizon or headaches this morning, so I’m not going to say anything at all. Just like my mama taught me.

Dear Lady at the Gym,

I know it’s an uncomfortable feeling, going to the gym when you’re overweight. The only thing that might make it more uncomfortable is going to the gym in a swimsuit. I know this because I’m overweight, and I was going to the pool to swim laps in my brand-new swimsuit, which does not have any sort of ruffle or skirt or anything to hide the fact that I’m shaped like an Oompa-Loompa a manatee.* And there you were, walking laps and wearing a dress. What I’m saying here is this: I understand that you might have felt insecure about being in the pool. However. Wearing a dress in the pool is definitely not the way to avoid drawing attention to oneself.

Sincerely,
Nichole

Dear Dress Lady’s Son,

Stop flopping yourself through the swim lanes, and please for the love of Peter Tork stop the falsetto hymn singing. I know it’s echoey in the pool area, and I suppose you might feel a certain thrill at hearing your ululation bounce around the room. But you’re reaching an Errol Morris level of creepitude.

Sincerely,
Nichole

*A Google Image search tells me that Oompa-Loompas are not as rotund as their name might suggest.