Category Archives: Flotsam / Jetsam

Canine correspondence

Hello I am Jack The Dog.
Dear Mom and Dad,

Your friend who you left us at her house, she took us for walks today. First she took Stella for a walk, and Stella smelled all the smells and she said they smelled very smelly and she liked to smell the smells and so she smelled all of them. And she walked very fast.

And then your friend, she took me for a walk and she didn’t think I would go as fast as Stella went but guess what I went even faster than Stella went and your friend she was surprised ha ha ha. My short legs are short but they are very fast.

I smelled a lot of smells too and they smelled very very very good. And I heard a lawnmower and it went brrrm brrrm brrrrm and I liked it and then I saw a lawnmower and it went brrrrm brrrrm brrrm and I liked it and then I wanted to smell a lawnmower but your friend said No Jack No You May Not Smell That Lawnmower. So I said OK and then I said Ha Ha Ha and zooooom and I tried to pull her down the hill with my short fast legs. Ha ha ha. It didn’t work though she was stronger than I thought. She has short legs too they aren’t fast though like mine.

We are having a good day and did you smell any good smells today? Stella saw two squirrels and I saw one squirrel and I miss you are you coming back soon? I hope so.

I love you and I am your friend,

Jack The Dog

2011 in retrospect

I’ve done this All & Sundry survey for four years now (2010, 2008, 2007, 2006), so I thought I’d go ahead and fill it out again this year. I didn’t have an answer to some of the questions, so it’s somewhat shorter than the past years have been.

What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
I went to Mississippi and Louisiana. And we bought a house!

Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn’t make any resolutions last year. This year, I pledge to make more deviled eggs. They’re delicious and so easy.

January 2011. It snowed. A lot.
Did anyone close to you give birth?

A few friends did, I think. Unless I’m thinking of babies you had last year, in which case I apologize for my terrible memory.

Did anyone close to you die?
No, thankfully.

February 2011. Sketching at the Georgia Aquarium.
What countries did you visit?
None.

What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A new couch would be nice.

March 2011
What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I doubt that any dates will remain etched upon my memory, because I have a horrible memory. I will always remember walking into our house for the first time, though. That would’ve been in early July.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

If you’ve read this far, you’ve probably guessed it was the buying of the house. My glass-half-empty self is still surprised that we actually were able to make that happen!

April 2011. Hula-hooping at a friend's Easter/birthday party.
What was your biggest failure?
Well, I still haven’t lost that weight I’ve been trying to lose for the last 4 years. So there’s that.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing significant. (Knock on wood.)

May 2011. Ballerinas.
What was the best thing you bought?
I’m pretty sure we all know the answer to this one.

Where did most of your money go?
Our ongoing efforts to pay off the credit cards. We’re getting closer!

June 2011. Getting ready for Rockford's grandfather's 90th birthday party.
What did you get really excited about?
“The Muppet Movie.” The “Friday Night Lights” finale. Oh, and buying a house!

What song will always remind you of 2011?
Probably “Man or Muppet,” because the kids sing it all the time.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Saying yes to the children. I’m working on doing more of that.

July 2011. On the All Thrifty States road trip.
What do you wish you’d done less of?

Stressing over things over which I have zero control.

How did you spend Christmas?
Surrounded by friends and family and more friends and more family. Just as it should be.

August 2011. Las Vegas.
What was your favorite TV program?
“Friday Night Lights.” And also possibly “Doctor Who.”

What were your favorite books of the year?
I didn’t keep careful track of my reading this year, so I can’t say definitively. The most memorable was definitely the “Game of Thrones” series. I got very much swept up in it.

September 2011. Schoolwork.
What was your favorite music from this year?

Neither Mumford and Sons’ “Sigh No More” nor The Arcade Fire’s “The Suburbs” came out this year, but I bought both of them in early 2011. They’re both tremendous. I like Wilco’s “The Whole Love,” too, but I didn’t connect with it as much as I did the other two.

What were your favorite films of the year?
Did I even see any movies this year? I’m sure I did, but I don’t remember any of them at present.

October 2011. A walk in the woods.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 33 this year, but I don’t remember what we did on my birthday. I’m sure it was fabulous.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
My year was pretty close to immeasurably satisfying already. It was a very nice year.

November 2011. A Thomas cake for a 4-year-old.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Nonexistent. I’d like to develop one of those.

December 2011. A cat and her jellyfish.

Child maintenance quandaries

The children are playing together this morning. They sound very happy. And yet I’m worried. Because they’re playing in the bathroom, and the water is running in the sink, and I keep hearing things like:

“Oh, that’s perfect!”

“I look beautiful!”

“You look like a Muppet rock star!”

“Let the styling begin!”

I should put a stop to this, I’m pretty sure. But they’re having such a good time. And they’re not arguing. I’m just going to deal with the consequences later.

(The Consequences Later:

“Did you put soap in your hair?”

“It was the only way we could get stylish.”

“I see. Go get ready for your bath.”)