Category Archives: Flotsam / Jetsam

Flotsam / Jetsam

A series of bone-headed events

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Three days ago I tripped on my purse getting out of the car and landed on my face in the yard.

Two days ago we drove the kids over to Dollywood. Two days ago, Dollywood was not open.

Yesterday the kids and I went to the mall, and they wanted to say hello to Santa. There wasn’t a line, so I said, “Sure, kids! Let’s go see Santa!” And because there was no line, I decided to step over the border instead of taking the long way ’round. A great, lazy plan right up until my foot got caught on the chain and I nearly took down Santa’s village.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but that little incident was nothing.

“Water” by Andreas Levers
A few hours after I humiliated myself in front of Santa, his elves and dozens of festive shoppers, we decided to go Olive Garden for dinner. We sat down and ordered, we enjoyed some salad and bread sticks and Rockford was in the middle of telling me a story about some work-thing. I was paying attention, I promise, but the events that followed have swept exactly what it was he was talking about from my mind.

I picked up my glass. I took a sip of water. And then I couldn’t breathe. I must’ve been making a horrific noise, because the restaurant went silent and a nearby waiter was suddenly giving me the Heimlich maneuver.

Yeah, that’s right. I nearly drowned on a sip of water in the middle of a very busy Olive Garden.

Silver Lining: Now I have an answer to the question, “What is your most embarrassing moment?”

Flotsam / Jetsam, National Blog Posting Month

6 things to consider as your feline ages

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A Very Important Notice: Today is the very last day of my Country Outfitter giveaway!

Yesterday I was looking over the very fabulous lists of Christmas music at SimpleMom.net, and just as I was about to click away something in the sidebar caught my eye. It was a link to a post called “What to Do with Old Cards and Letters,” but in that millisecond before I clicked away, what I thought it said was What to Do with Old Cats.

Here is a scientific fact: Cats age. Considering that 33% of US households include a cat, it would be helpful to know just what to do with one’s cat once it joins the senior citizen segment of the population. And though the ladies at SimpleMom have covered nearly every other topic, they have not yet covered What to Do with Old Cats. So I thought I would cover it for them. (And for you, of course. But they can syndicate it if they’d like, for the low-low and very negotiable price of $3.4 million.)

And so this brings us to what I hope will be a very helpful list.

What to Do with Old Cats
Winterize your home.
Freshen up your “look.”

Promote your business.

Be more organized.

Never lose your page again!

Winterize yourself.

I hope you’ve found this foray into feline care helpful and informative. In the event that you’re looking for real information, please see The Special Needs of the Senior Cat by the Cornell Feline Health Center.

Flotsam / Jetsam, National Blog Posting Month

I am in the NaBloPoMo Doldrums

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Rockford was out of town until late last night, and so my brain is pretty well out of thoughts for now. So here are some links for you. NaBloPoMo!