Category Archives: Flotsam / Jetsam

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Sick days

This is the first time I’ve participated in Jana’s Stream-O-Consciousness Sunday. I don’t usually feel like I have anything to say on Sundays, for some reason, but today I guess I do.

I’ve been sick on and off since late July. I kept thinking it was UTIs, but it turns out it’s all been thanks to a 3-millimeter orb of doom. I knew I had a kidney stone in July — it was pretty hard to miss, and it landed me in the ER — but it stopped hurting so I thought it had disintegrated. (The urologist gave me potassium citrate and said it might do the trick.) It didn’t occur to me that it might not have, even when I started having other problems.

Anyway, my health problems have kept the kids from some of their activities; made Rockford make major adjustments to his work schedule, including canceling a trip this week so he’s home while I recover from surgery; and pulling some attention away from what should’ve been exclusively my brother and sister-in-law’s Big Week. I feel guilty. I don’t like being the center of attention, and I hate being an inconvenience.

And I can’t expound upon that any more, because that’s the end of the Jana-mandated five minutes.

Three things I witnessed yesterday during a brief trip to the grocery store

Sarah Gilbert photo

1. Two dudes high-fiving as they walked past each other in the cereal aisle.

I choose to believe they didn’t know each other but were celebrating their shared love of Rice Chex.

2. A guy juggling pints of ice cream in the ice cream aisle.

His children seemed equal parts aghast and astounded.

3. This conversation between two young hipsters on the spice aisle

She: No, not those! We need those things you put in guacamole.
He: Blank look, slowly reaches for a pepper blend.
She: No! The things you dip in guacamole!
He: You mean … chips?
She: Yes! Chips!

How Slushy Magic taught my children the truth about advertising

“Yay! Slushy Magic!”

“Are the ice cubes frozen yet?”

“Are the ice cubes frozen yet?”

“Are the ice cubes frozen yet?”

“Are the ice cubes frozen yet?”

“Are the ice cubes frozen yet?”

“The ice cubes are frozen! Let’s make some Slushy Magic!”

“That doesn’t look like it did in the commercial at all.”

“Maybe if we shake it some more.”

“OK, well maybe if we shake it a little more.”

“Daddy, that is not a slushy, and it is not magic.”

“Alright, one more shake.”

“Daddy! Everything in that commercial was a lie!”

In conclusion, Slushy Magic does not work as magically as advertised.

These children are living a lie. (photo courtesy AsSeenOnTVwebstore.com).