Category Archives: Family matters

In which we discuss matters of the family.

Kids are weird

Achy necks and buttery ears

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Robert S. Donovan photo
Poppy has a muscle strain (or something) in her neck, so I was setting her up on my bed with the heating pad and an audiobook. Meanwhile, Pete was at the head of the bed, trying to fish out a Leapster cartridge he’d spied.

In such a situation, I would advise not blithely saying, “Don’t get your head stuck.”

Because he did. And he panicked, as one naturally does when one’s head is stuck between two metal bars.

I tried to smoosh his ears down and ease his head out.

“I want Daddy!” he screamed, as one naturally does when one’s mother attempts to smoosh one’s ears.

“Shhhhh,” I implored, “shhhhhh. Try to relax. I’m going to get some butter for your ears.”

He wailed. Naturally.

Then he lowered his head a little, and with a swift twist he’d freed himself. His ears were pink, his nose was runny and his face was tear-stained, but at least he was free and sans butter.

“Don’t stick your head in things!” I called as he romped out of the room.

I turned back to Poppy, nestled on her pillow with her Twilight Sparkle snug in her arms. She glared at me.

“So now you don’t even care about me,” she said.

The moral of the story: I can’t win.

Kids are weird

The Adventure of Pirates, Part Four

One afternoon last September, Pete was playing with our “Story Cubes” by himself in the living room floor. This is the final part of the story.

The Adventure of Pirates, Part Four
by Pete

Welcome to the new adventures of Pirates and Pete! Still looking for the key to unlock the gears of the door and escape the apple!

And [the turtle and the sad alien] followed the footprints of the alien, and they stopped at a clock and they saw the alien in it so they had to go inside the clock! (This is an extremely long story.) And then he met an arrow that showed him the way to the door. The alien had to go this way, but they had to go this way. And then they met a little fish guy that said, “Go right here, please.”

Then apparently they said, “Alien! Come back out of there!”

And then he said, “I’m the one who set up that temple, and I’m the one who used the magic wand for putting the apple in the gears of the key lock!”

And then a hand came out. It was the guard’s hand! And he said, “That is his home.” So he was the guard of his home, for whenever people wanted to see him.

“Go back to the pyramid,” said the alien. “We’re having a party for aliens.”

And then one of them fell asleep. And then a lamb that was upside-down usually put people in a different land, so he put them in the lock of the intergalactic alliance! And then there came thunder coming down from the sky. And then when he said something weird, the keyhole opened and he rushed back to the pyramid and began looking for the princess. Was she in the water fountain? No! Was she at the top of the castle? Was she in her room reading a book, or inside the book? And then he found her on the skyscraper of the tower!

I don’t understand anything anymore! Am I in my room reading a book, or am I inside the book? In conclusion: Pete has a weird and wild imagination.

Kids are weird

The Adventure of Pirates, Part Three

One afternoon last September, Pete was playing with our “Story Cubes” by himself in the living room floor. This is part three of his tale.

The Adventure of Pirates, Part Three
by Pete

Welcome to Part Three of the Adventures of Pirates! Dun-dun!

And then [the turtle] searched around the globe for the key! Dun-dun! And then he said “Lightbulb!” and he took a magnifying glass to the moon. And then they met a sad alien, and he cheered him up with going to the moon with him. And they went back to the pyramids and looked for it in the ocean, where the fishes lived. And then they used a magnet to find the key. And then apparently another alien came down.

What will happen next on the Adventures of Pirates? (I betcha can’t wait for Part Four. It has ten parts.)

But it doesn’t really have ten parts. It ends tomorrow! And there are, as yet, still no pirates!