Category Archives: Diversions

The stuff that didn’t fit elsewhere.

How Angela England’s “Backyard Farming” made me want a beard, sort of

I started thinking about gardening long before I actually had a place to put a garden. As we moved from rental to rental, I’d think about growing lettuce and harvesting pumpkins, and I’d plan for the day when we finally bought a house and I could start living off the land.

(Of course, I knew that it was possible to grow things in containers. But did I ever try it? No I did not. I’m a charming mixture of stubborn and lazy.)

And then we bought a house! With a yard! And a bunch of overgrown, weedy flower beds! So I ignored the flower beds and Rockford built a raised bed for vegetables and we grew one hundred million leaves of lettuce via what I like to call Beginner’s Luck. Because let me tell you what I know about gardening:

  • Fortunately there are people out there who know a lot about gardening, and one of them sent me a book all about it. It really isn’t just a gardening book, though. Angela England’s “Backyard Farming on an Acre (More or Less)” starts off with a brief overview of why it’s a good idea to work toward sustainable living, and it makes a good argument for it for health, environmental and economical reasons. It covers everything from purchasing an appropriate piece of land to the care and maintenance of goats to what to do once your carrot seeds have turned into carrots.

    It’s a comprehensive guide to small-scale farming, is what I’m saying.

    I doubt that we’ll ever be entirely self-sufficient, and I’m probably never going to raise chickens or goats, either. I have to say, though, that the chapter on beekeeping was so fascinating that it made me want to go out and buy one of awesome veiled beekeeper hats. And maybe some bees. But definitely the hat. And probably eventually a parade float, because I’d be the best dang beekeeper the world had ever seen, obviously, and the best dang beekeeper in the world gets invited to a lot of parades.

    (I think this book review may have just gotten away from me. What was I talking about?)

    Last weekend Rockford and one of our nephews set to work on one of the aforementioned overgrown flower beds, and after much toil they uncovered a nice bunch of irises in a row against the house. The irises are breathing freely now, and the rest of the bed will be home to our first-ever attempt at growing carrots and potatoes. The raised bed is ready for its inhabitants, too. We’re going to try for 100,000,001 leaves of lettuce this year along with a few tomatoes, some sugar snap peas, green beans and peppers.

    And do you know what I’ll have with me every step of the way? My luxurious bee-beard. My copy of “Backyard Farming on an Acre (More or Less),” because otherwise I would’ve asked the girl at Lowe’s where they kept the potato seeds.

    Nichole received a copy of “Backyard Farming on an Acre (More or Less)” for review purposes.

    9 excellent songs about babies

    1. Sir Mix-A-Lot’s classic “Baby Got Back.” One can only presume this is about a traveling baby who is happy to be back at home.

    2. “Ice Ice Baby” by Robert “Vanilla Ice” Van Winkler. I know it mostly by heart.

    3. “Baby Hold On” by Mr. Eddie Money, who knows that babies like to be held but don’t always want to hold you back.

    4. “Baby Imma Want You” by Bread, which you shouldn’t give your baby until he’s 10 months old or so.

    5. “Don’t Worry Baby” by The Beach Boys, who were obviously concerned about stressed-out babies.

    6. “Always Be My Baby” by Mariah Carey, who knows that your baby is always your baby, even when she isn’t a baby anymore.

    7. “Baby” by the Biebs, who I think was just barely into toddlerhood when he recorded this.

    8. James Taylor’s “Sweet Baby James,” which makes an excellent lullaby.

    9. The Talking Heads’ “Stay Up Late.” Which my baby brother Perry Mason is going to be doing a lot of soon, because he and Mrs. Perry Mason will be welcoming Perry Mason Jr. this fall!

    Congratulations you two! I cannot wait to nuzzle your wee bairn.