David Caruso is an “actor” in only the Affleckian sense: He gets paid to appear on screen. And yet, I sort of like Horatio Caine. Maybe it’s the pale one’s foolishly bold absence of sunscreen. Or perhaps it’s his pointed enunciation-and-glasses-on way of ending every scene. Or maybe it’s that his cat’s name is Bosco.

Now, Bosco. You know what you did was wrong. What you did was improper. It was inconsiderate. But you didn’t think about that, did you? You thought you could get away with it. But you forgot the most important thing. You forgot that the only thing that matters is evidence. …
From Brian Graham’s “David Caruso scolds his cat about its lackadaisical litter-box use” at McSweeney’s.