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New Thickburger is subprime

Mushroom-Swiss has always been my favorite hamburger permutation. For years, that was the only “specialty” burger I would order. A few years ago, though, I started trying different types of specialty burgers, and I decided there were some others that were pretty good. Case in point: The Bonsai burger from Red Robin. With a nice, big slice of pineapple, some lettuce shreds, a light mayo sauce and a little soy, the Bonsai’s flavors all match really well. It’s a tasty burger.

But not all specialty burgers are created equal.

Hardees Prime-Rib Thickburger is neither thick nor prime-rib. It is meatier than a standard-issue fast-food burger, but it doesn’t measure up to something I might make at home. While the meat does taste like meat — and that’s never a given when it comes to a fast-food burger — it tastes more like ground beef than prime rib. It’s well-cooked ground beef, at least. It wasn’t dry.

The onions and the mushrooms are a nice touch, but the horseradish sauce is distracting and not very tasty. I would have preferred a kaiser roll or a standard hamburger bun to the “ciabatta” roll Hardees uses for the Prime-Rib Thickburger. Like the sauce, the flavor of the ciabatta didn’t mesh well.

Overall, I give the Prime-Rib Thickburger a solid C. Given the choice, I would prefer one of their standard, 99-cent cheeseburgers.

Accepting the challenge

Apparently Nichole challenged me to fill out this list thing a few days ago.

Five things 25-year-old Rockford didn’t see coming

  1. Two children.
  2. Working for the man.
  3. Living where we live.
  4. That I’d be using hair product.
  5. Living in the same apartment complex as my friend Don.

Five things I was doing 10 years ago

  1. Working in a plant biology lab.
  2. Working at a radio station.
  3. Working at a newspaper.
  4. Going to class.
  5. Playing lots of Tetris.

Five things on my to-do list today

  1. Take out the trash.
  2. Take Poppy for a walk.
  3. Take old mattresses to the dump.
  4. Eat pancakes.
  5. Make pudding.

Five things I will do when I am a millionaire

  • Pay off my student loans.
  • Record a cover album featuring all my favorite hip-hop songs, including but not limited to: “California Love,” “Mama Said Knock You Out,” “Dear Mama,” “Today Was a Good Day” and Biz Markie’s “You Got What I Need.”
  • Buy a cabin on the Rainy River.
  • Go see a Sunday day game at Wrigley Field in the bleachers.
  • Buy a house.

    Five things I will never wear again

    1. Flannel shorts.
    2. Leather vests.
    3. Tighty-whities.
    4. Dickies.
    5. T-shirts featuring sport-lebrity figures.

    Five of my favorite toys

    1. Golf clubs.
    2. Computer.
    3. Centrifuges.
    4. Puzzles.
    5. Legos.

    Five banes of my existence

    1. Nichole and her stinkin’ challenges.
    2. KU
    3. Biscuits
    4. The Cardinals
    5. Harold Baines

A Vexing Season

What an odd season.

Several milestones were passed or set, among them several sluggers surpassing the 500 HR mark and one closer passing the 500 save mark. Other “big” things happened, too, although I choose not to mention certain players who I feel have brought a black eye to a game I love very much.

But perhaps the oddest thing for this beaten-down, long-suffering Cubs fan is that my team made the playoffs. The Cubs, who have cost me no small amount of pain in the past, managed to pull it together and mess up less than everyone else in the NL Central.

Early on, it looked like a catastrophe in the making. In early June, we were way under .500 and no one — I mean no one — was happy. The players weren’t happy, the manager wasn’t happy, the fans weren’t happy. It was like so many other seasons. In years past, however, a bad Cubs team in June wasn’t something that brought so much anger to Cubbies near and far. To understand why there was so much anger, we have to go back in time …

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